bye?

well its almost time, i'm leaving first thing tommorrow morning to go to ledger house. i hate it. but whatever, i'm starting to hate it a little less when i realize i'll be away from my dad. we were fighting all night yesterday while my mom was out, leaving me very angry and depressed and desperate to cut or go for a smoke or something. i didnt do it though. i dealt with it by blasting angry music and screaming into my pillow until mom got home, she always makes it better.

today i'm just packing, sleeping, and doing a p.e journal thing.. its lamee.

problem about ledger house.. all of my other counselors i've simple told to fuck off and never came back, i cant do that with these ones. it sucks royally.

but yes, life sucks but at least i'm still alive. one day things will be better. i'm trying to focus on what Matthew told me in april "theres a reunion in heaven" its a comforting thought. one day i'll be with my family again. and no, i dont mean my dad who i fight with all the time, or my mom who doesnt really care, or any of my siblings, who all hate me. but my family, people who care and love me for who i am and are willing to be there in hard times and in good times. one day..

well... i'll try to keep you posted but i make no promises.

i will be at staff retreat though, wild horses couldnt keep me away.