life is a bitch

i guess its gunna have to hurt,
i guess i'm gunna have to cry,
its sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life
starts with goodbye.

i feel so broken and yet i can feel God holding onto me, holding me together. how the heck am i gunna do this? its too much. im trying to hold on but i'm not strong enough. i havent given in yet but i dont think i can carry on much longer. and nobody cares to help anymore. i leave tommorrow, my life is being ripped apart..

oh, and, as if all this aint enough
my stupid ass brother got his friggen wife preggers and i'm never even gunna meet the kid, just like i havent met my nephew Ben, who is at least 6 months old now. for that matter, i'm probally never going to see Miles or John ever again, they probally wont even be at my funeral. and it hurts every day. it was just when this whole thing started that...