ahhhhhh tommorrow

this aint right. im not meant for this. it was a mistake that i got accepted. so why am i so stoked? why do i feel like im finally home whenever im at qwanoes? its not right. i shouldnt be there. im not a good enough role model, what if i cant help anyone what if i cant do it?

im going to camp tommorrow. im ultra incredably fantastical double excited. but ahhh im so not ready. i havent even made a list of what to pack, or sorted out my medicine to see if i have enough for 2 months (which i already know i so dont) and im on the verge of having to take a millon vitamins and crap. already its thyroid, vitamin c, iron pills, and benadryl. gosh i feel so unhealthy. a recent trip to the doctor has informed us that actually, im really unhealthy, like state of emergency, like... why the fuck cant i remember to take my pills im gunna end up like i was when i first found out my thyroid failed. this is so not cool. anyways, fuck it moving on... yeah im not prepared for camp in the slightest and im going tommorrow..

to-do list (none of it is even close to being done, except the cit book)
-read c.i.t book
-clean both rooms (properly)
- delete all the picures off my camera and save them to my computer
- organize crap
- get dad to get me a camera case
- get rid of shitty clothes
- make list of what to pack (in detail so i wont forget anything)
- make list of stuff i need to get for camp (iron pills)
- post adress on fb and on the fridge
- chill with Tara
-watch that movie momma's been bugging me about
- actually pack
-goodbye Tara :(
-'quality time' with momma
- goodbye momma (and dad)
- go go go

and this is all to be done by 7:00pm tommorrow night.
mission impossible.

ahhh im having extreme anxiety right now. but its getting a little better since i talked to someone about it (i totally thought she hated me but apparently she really cares a lot)