okay so theres been a lot of changes in the past few months, its definately a lot to take in all at once. i know that i am becoming a strong follower but am i strong enough have 3 amazing and special people under my wing while i have no one to take me under theirs. am i really alone in this? cant i just have one person to support me this year? but no of course, no one cares. and the people who do, cant do anything about it anyways cuz there not here. i wish i had my kaleos back. yes- my kaleos. im sick of trying to get to know the replacements. i just want my kaleos back, i just want the summer back, i just dont want to be alone anymore. and of course, thinking about it is making me upset, i must be strong, for their sake. its a scary thing though, when someone tells you that you are their role-model, i've gotta wonder, am i good enough? well i've got to be. i must be a good example, i must be strong, even if im completely alone now, i cant let it break me.
another worry... i have 4 people that want me to take them to youth group/church next weekend. its the first sunday of the month. that means communion. i dont understand why im still so afraid of it.
my head is spinning so much lately. i tried to talk about it, but i havent really been able to, but at least i got to talk to JimBad a bit, that was helpful.
i really want to cut right now, but if i do, how could i tell her not to cut? why cant i just give up?
i need to talk to someone.
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