disapointment

so today i realized im pretty much just a waste of flesh so whats the point of even trying anymore? okay like, seriously since i got back from ledger i have been trying so hard to pass school and all i've acomplished is completely exhausting myself and being more discouraged than ever. i havent even gotten my L yet because i've been so busy with homework that i dont have time to study. i havent been skipping anymore, i've been trying as hard as i can, i dont have a life because of it (plus the fact that i decided not to do stupid shit anymore so now i dont really have any friends so i guess im just a loser now). we've been looking at careers in planning and every single career matchmaker snd self annayase has said that my career has to be something involving people and collage. i cant do collage. i can hardly make it through high school how the hell am i gunna get through collage? i bet i wouldnt even be able to handle kaleo, and thats been my dream since.. well last october, but still. frig, i guess i dont have a career. maybe i'll just have to wash dishes for a living since i guess thats the only thing i can actually do and i can hardly even do that because of my friggen hands. oh yeah, and i've been dreaming of becoming a writer since i knew how to write and i've been so busy lately and then i was so distracted and uninspired when i was a stoner that i havent been published in at least 2 years! i only have like 2 years left until i will be too old to enter student writer contests and then how will i get published? i want to enter some new stuff but i dont even write anymore because im so busy trying to get my life back on track and its like frigg. honestly i dont know why i even bother.