where can you run to escape from yourself?

i feel so weak. i feel so broken. i dont know what to do, i dont know where to turn to. i keep trying to reach out for help but nobodys there. is it supposed to be this hard? im scared of falling back into all the crap that used to take over my life. and im scared for the people i love who are letting it take over theirs. i was so desperate to talk to a girl that i actually tried to talk to my mom about it. pathetic. i need help. and im not going to camp until the weekend which means i have to survive another whole week of school. and i really want to cut... fuck, im so friggen weak. i hate myself for it.