sometimes i just want to run away from time and schedules and responsibilities and just LIVE. sometimes i feel like i'm being weighed down by these typical little everyday things. i hate having a life that i can't just leave or change at any given moment. i hate being stuck. i want to be free.
i found this on post secret today and i kinda stopped to think... what do i think about that? is that good or bad? i think its good... really good. its not good that they are uncomfortable with God, obviously, and i pray that they would discover how great he is and would be no longer be uncomfortable with him. but... this person is going to worship because there is something different about people who follow Christ. we are 'awesome' as many people say, in a very different way, we are not of this world, and that draws people in because it seems so strange that we actually love them. this is clearly a work of the Holy Spirit, because when we stand out like that, and show people love, we can show them who God is. i think it is such an amazing thing when people see us like that because it creates such great opportunities for God to work through us to reveal himself to people. i hope this person will continue to go and get to know these 'awesome' people, because God can teach so much through relationships with His followers. i really do hope this person will come to trust God and be drawn more towards Him than just being drawn towards His followers, because really, all we are is what God made us to be, and thats what people are being drawn to is the Holy Spirit that is in us, but they need to go straight to the source, to God, their Father, who is bigger and better than anything imaginable.
ok so the past few weeks i have been falling away from God because i was trying to do homework/ relax and i stopped praying and reading my bible.. which we all know nothing goes well when we neglect those things. then i was getting overwhelmed with... well... everything. i was just not in a good place.
on saturday i had a conversation with a friend that just broke my heart, and i reached my limit. it was then that i realized i could not handle everything on my own, it just didnt work. it was then that i finally broke down. i knew in that moment that cutting, temptation, things, nothing was going to satisfy me or take away my pain i needed ( and still need) the only one who can take away my pain and burdens, my one and only Savior. so i prayed, and i dont mean like "dear God help me" i mean balling my eyes out praying for him to take my burdens away and to help me to get by because i realized that i was and am completely helpless without him. i asked him why things were happening, i apoligized for everything, and then i realized that he is bigger than everything i was so upset about. i then, fell asleep.
when i woke up in the morning, i felt joyful, light, and soooo grateful to God for putting my burdens on him so that i could stand again. its these things that remind me how great my Savior and Father is, and these things that make me fall even more in love with him.
i can't even begin to tell you how much He taught me this weekend, there is no words to describe how i feel now, i'll just say this then: God is good! but, my situations have not changed, nothing disappeared, everything is still happening, but i'm letting God deal with it now, which means i don't need to be burdened by it anymore, he's got it covered.
