last night i came across an old notebook of mine, one that i used a lot over the summer and through the fall. it was filled with my thoughts and prayers. i looked back at it and i was like 'woah'. it was so rad.
that wasnt the only thing i came across. i also found my the journal i kept when i was in the hospital for my last suicide attempt. this journal was my only way of keeping my sanity for 4 days. along with it came the journal from ledger. i didnt read either one, i was scared of getting emotional so i just put it away. i did skim over a few pages though, holy crap was i ever broken. i kinda want to show it to somebody, so that they would know what its like and so i can share with somebody else one of the most personal things i have and remind them of how great God is that he can change a person so much. but i cant do it, because im afraid of what they would think.
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