my notebook that i filled with thoughts, prayers, and randomness is now filled.
this notebook has almost every kind of writing that exists in it. there is something i wrote in it i want to share, and i dont know why. please dont judge as this was over a year ago. ps this is an exact translation from paper to blog
November 3rd 2008
where is my relationship with God? i don't exactly know but i do know this, its begining. i am learning and discovering more about him everyday. maybe its not important if you know him or not, all that matters is if you want to. so no, i dont follow him right now, but i'm taking the first steps on my walk with him. i won't pertend i'm something i'm not or act like i'm close with God, because i'm not. at church yesturday, they did communion. a beautiful, precious, and special way to remember what Jesus did for us. i did not take it though, because i dont fully understand it and i'm not far enough on my walk with God to get the full precious meaning of it. communion is a very personal and amazing thing and i'm just not ready for it. but when Sasha saw this she said, "you don't believe in God," it hurt. it hurt because she's right. i'm not a 'christ follower' at least, not yet. maybe i dont fit in with the church and the youth group but there is no where else for me to go. i am acually Grateful for what she said, because it made me fully realize where i am in my relationship with God and i think i am on the right path. but looking at everyone in church and how they all fit together like a family. and they all have God on their sidde as well as a family of people who care and are there to help them on their walk wirh God it makes me think, i want to be a part of that family. and maybe, just maybe, if i have that want, thats all i need, because a want and a craving for Christ is what will carry me through, and everything will be found as i seek it. how amazing is that?
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